qabalistic tantra

The qabalah provides a strong framework for understanding the dynamics of relationships, because it emphasizes not only unity but also polarity. The tree tells a story of increasing differentiation and polarization as energy becomes manifested from heaven to earth through the sephiroth and paths.*
As being is united and humans are potentially perfect beings, the drive towards individuation is a fact of human existence. Individuation is C.G. Jung's concept of the desire to become whole. What has been divided by manifestation seeks re-integration.*

In our lives, we experience desire. Desires direct us towards that which we are not, but which our subconscious tells us ought to become part of us. Desire is our radar towards growth, leading us towards qualities that we have previously rejected.*
The path of Peh between Netzach and Hod, depicted by the tarot trump "The Tower" illustrates this process of tearing down the stiff walls of the tower in favor of growth through relating to others .The qabalah is a map of qualities and very suitable for understanding dynamics of desire and the relationship with our surroundings.*
The reasons that qualities are rejected and energy is blocked can be intermediate or more permanent. Trauma during birth or early childhood may cause an unconscious rejection. The qualities of masculine and feminine roles in the family or in cultural archetypes can be a model for limiting what is later acceptable by each of the sexes. And finally imbalances in the current way of life can lead to an energy polarization that seeks sexual re-integration.*
attraction towards rejected qualities 
We are attracted by people with an energy structure which is complementary to our own. Our friends and partners - and often our family - represent qualities that nourish the dormant parts of our being.*
If you are a very controlling person (a dominating right side of the body/tree - Binah, Geburah, Hod) you are probably fascinated and attracted by people who are letting themselves being led through life by inspiration and fortune (left - Chokmah, Chesed, Netzach), and vice versa.*

As described throughout the tradition of psychoanalysis as well as esoterica, huge parts of our being and human potential works invisibly and repressed in our subconscious. Individuation, healing, dreaming and love is the process that includes still more of the subconscious qualities into the conscious personality. Relationships are therefore an oppotunity for growth.*
The relating process works very similar to the process of dreaming. We dream not only about what happened the previous day but in our dreams we often encounter characters that represent qualities of our beings that are ready for acceptance and integration. In the outer world we tend to meet people that represent the qualities that we need to integrate at the moment.*
the cycle of relationships - opening of the tower 
Relationships - between lovers, friends or in a group - follow a cycle from enthusiasm over conflict towards either growth or resolution.*
When falling in love, making new contacts or establishing a powerful group, everyone are enthusiastic about the relationship and feel nourished by the presence of the other.* 
But soon, problems arise due to the very fact that the qualities of the other are not only complementary and nourishing but also represent something that we have rejected as being unacceptable parts of (our) being. No matter whether we are fascinated by those qualities in others, deep down we are still reluctant or unwilling to accept them. Therefore we experience our worst conflicts with people who represent our greatest potential for growth and healing.*

If a relationship should bear fruit, we must be able to diagnose the deeper causes of the conflict, mapping the qualities that have been projected into the other. The tree of life is very useful as is represent an extensive map of cosmic as well as psychological qualities: Look at the paths and find the polarity between paths that best describe the conflict. Which of those paths have you rejected within you? Meditate on this path, make a ritual or go pathworking to integrate its qualities. Most probably, your relationship will be affected.*
This integration poses a challenge for the relationship. If it has been based on the fascination of projected qualities, it is endangered by the integration of that which made the other so fascinating. If you are attracted by very controlling people and you integrate the art of controlling into your personality, you will most probably not need them controlling you.*
However, your new ability represents a chance for them to shift polarity as well and explore the ability of letting go, now that you can play the controlling part once in a while.*
If both are able to enter a new polarity, the relationship is transformed from being based on unconscious fascination to a joint and conscious inspiration of human qualities.*
If this does not happen, the relationship will become less fruitful or will die, now that the old polarization is no more, unless another fascination is polarized enough to take its place.*
tantra - accepting all there is 
Sexuality is, of course, the arena of our most powerful projections, the basic one being our perception of being either male og female. The lesson of Tantra, India's system of self-integration, is that projected polarity can be absorbed and sexual energy can be transformed into a higher state of consciousness. The Middle Pillar Ritual is not a qabalistic invention, it is an exercise known also from tantra and taoism that raises and recycles sexual energy between the sexual organs and the organs of spirit.*
Tantra is fundamentally a left hand path, a path of acceptance inspired by Chokmah, Chesed and Netzach - its counterpart Yoga being a path of discipline, inspired by Binah, Geburah and Hod. The aim of tantra is to invite rejected parts of the personality to become re-integrated, thereby transforming the energy bound by projection into consciousness of the higher states of being.*
In tantra, anything that can fuel sexual excitement is acceptable. When energy has been raised by a sexual scenario, instead of releasing it through conventional orgasms, the sexual fluids are held back and the energy is circulated into higher levels of the energy system.*
The typical catalog of secret sexual fantasies is also a list of rejected polatities: Fetischism (adoration), sadomasochism (power), transvestism (opposite sex), sodomy (instincts), incest (youth), groups (community), voyerism (visibility), faeces fascination, necrophilia (death), etc.*
Practical tantra involves the following five steps:*
1 Map your sexual desires as precisely as possible, targeting the ones that are the least acceptable for the personality. Find them among the symbols and archetypes on the tree of life.*
2 Find a way to invoke those desires, alone or with a partner, in your imagination or preferably in practice.*
3 Endure the excitement of energy, and observe its qualities without releasing it, slow down or stop if energy peaks out of control.*
4 Hold back sexual fluids if energy peaks, and recycle the energy explosion instead of spending it.*
5 Observe if energy is frustrated and still moves, is dormant and where, or has been transformed and into what (light, consciousness).*
Mantak Chia, the taoist teacher, has published an array of techniques for retaining sexual fluids and circulating the energy. Tantric sources publish a number of techniques for taking energy out of the polarized pillars of Mercy (Ida) and Severity (Pingala) and raising it through the chakras of middle pillar (Sushuma) with the aid of kundalini, the serpent power in Malkuth. Danish tantrics should consult the works of Neel Fasting and Jes Bertelsen.*
Sexual fantasies can be reworked like dreams that are also indications of growth potential. Both can be meditated upon, held as an image that is vibrated - and thereby transformed - through the holy names of every sephirah from Kether to Malkuth.*

the blissful circuit 

This exercise is a very powerful circulation, performed during sex, that enables the exchange of qualities that have been projected into a sexual partner. It enables the couple to change fluently between accumulation and relief of energy during a state of sexual excitement. This ability is a foundation for learning the tantric art of dancing with energy.* 
*For protection and a maximum presence of consciousness, perfom The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram before doing the exercise.*
*The woman starts by touching her nipples while contacting her inner masculine, outgoing strength. Touch the left nipple, then the right one, with soft, circular movements for a few minutes. Then she touches the clitoris, this time contacting her inner feminine, receptive state of being, a few minutes.*
*Next, she contacts her masculine outgoing strength at the left nipple, without touching it, then the right nipple, a few minutes. Breathe this quality in and out through the nipples. Then she breathes her feminine receptive being in and out through the clitoris, still without touching.*
*She finishes by contacting the left nipple.*
*Parallel to the woman, the man starts by touching the penis and testicles while contacting his masculine outgoing strength. Then he touches his left nipple while contacting his feminine receptive being, then the right one.* 
*Next, he contacts his masculine outgoing strength at the penis and testicles, breathing it in and out, without touching. Then he contacts his feminine receptive being at his left nipple, then the right, without touching.*
*He finishes by contacting the penis and testicles.*
*Now, with her mind, the woman contacts the masculine, positive energy pole at her nipples. While breathing out, the energy is visualized as two streams that flow out of both nipples, join and bend towards the feminine pole at the clitoris. While breathing in, energy and consciousness is drawn inside the body, upwards from the clitoris, it splits and reaches both nipples. This circuit is kept moving for 5-10 minutes.*
*The man contacts his positive pole at the penis and testicles. While breathing out, energy and consciousness is drawn outside the body, upwards, it splits and reaches his feminine pole at both nipples. Then, while breathing in, energy is led from the nipples, inside the body, it joins and reaches the penis and testicles. 5-10 minutes.*
*While having sex, when both are sexually excited and facing each other, the woman on top - as always in tantra, stabilizing the energy - these circulations are combined into one:*
*The woman contacts her nipples, breathes energy and consciousness out towards and through the nipples of the man, downwards to his penis and testicles. She breathes in from his penis, through her clitoris, into her body, upwards to her nipples.*
*The man contacts his penis and testicle. He breathes out through the woman's clitoris, into her body, to her nipples. Breathing in, he draws energy from her nipples through his own nipples, into his body, towards his penis and testicles.*
*Notice if the breathings are finding a common rhythm. Continue for 2-10 minutes.*
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